I would like to relate the following exchange and am soliciting opinions.

I was making my bagel this morning when a new, male coworker wandered into the kitchen.

Coworker: You are so smart.

Me: Um, thanks. Why?

Coworker: You’re always bringing your lunch…your breakfast…you’re so organized. *pause* You must be a wife.

Me: *blank stare* Well, my husband actually got me bringing my food to work.  But…um…thanks, I suppose.

— end scene —

I mention this encounter to my friend and female coworker. We are both kind of flabbergasted by this comment. Is this a compliment (back-handed or otherwise)? A dig? Or he is really that presumptive? But, wait: there’s more.

— cut to lunch with aforementioned male and female coworkers —

Female coworker: Mmm – your wrap looks delicious!

Me: Thanks!

Male coworker: See? So organized!

Me: RIGHT. Because I’m a wife?

Male coworker: Uh-

Me: Because only wives are organized enough to bring a lunch. *turning to female (unmarried, but living with her bf) coworker* I don’t know how you even get out your front door. I, on the other hand, am a professional wife.

Female coworker: *nearly chokes on lunch*

end scene —

I called my husband shortly afterward and he got a good laugh out of it. The general consensus is that this guy is kind of a doof. I was thinking I’d show up to work in an apron and pearls tomorrow.


~ by foodNURD on April 29, 2010.

19 Responses to “Sorry…what?”

  1. If you don’t show up in an apron and pearls, I will be very disappointed in you. You also need to wear your hair up, remember.

  2. Meanwhile, I shall begin to wear fishnet stockings and hooker boots to work, all to match my lazy, disorganized lunch-buying single-gal self.

  3. Melly – I’ll make sure to have a lovely up-sweep.

    Rach – that sounds about right. Get on it.

  4. Good God! What an idiot! Carolyn – I see something in red with white pokadots (just seems very wify) *snigger*.

  5. This dude is still single, right? No wonder, considering he seems to be confusing “wifely duties” with stuff his mom used to do for him when he was a small child.

  6. Amazingly, he has a long-term girlfriend (of whom he doesn’t speak particularly highly). But he is DEFINITELY a momma’s boy.

  7. Oh, dear – is this the co-worker I highly suspect it is?

  8. Heh! Nope – he’s only been here for three whole weeks, which adds another layer of “WTF” to the situation.

  9. I beleive the words I am looking for is “the fuck?”

  10. haha, interesting. i think you should go with the apron and pearls.

  11. You’re a riot. I feel sorry for the male co-worker a little bit…he’s in over his head here…:)

  12. I think if any of you had a clue and could get out of your own way, i.e. your judgements and fears, you might realize that you actually possibly have the answer. He assumed you were a mother because only a mother could/would be so organized and smart and loving; smart and loving enough to do that for themselves too.

    I’d have to say the only ones over their heads here are the ones drowning in lack of perspective and prejudice.

    Learn to take a compliment ladies, however poorly articulated it might be.

    • Well, that was unnecessarily angry. First, he referred to me as a wife, not a mother.

      Second, he was already quite aware that I am married. This was not an educated guess on his part. Whether he meant it as a compliment or not, it wasn’t taken as one. I do not subscribe to the idea that “only” wives – or mothers – are organized and/or caring enough to pack a lunch for themselves or their partners.

      Perhaps he meant it as a compliment, perhaps not. This post isn’t really meant to be about feminism; it’s about jumping to conclusions.

    • I’d have to respectfully agree with the hand. Not everyone is good at conversation and the poor guy obviously didn’t know how to handle your reaction to his comment. I mainly feel sorry for him because I’ve also got a bad case of foot-in-mouth syndrome…I may not have invented it but I have perfected it. I don’t think he was intending to put you down with his comment but you were intending to put him down with your reaction. A more gentle response would have been kind.

      The Hand…it isn’t about taking a compliment, I think it’s about communication and most of us aren’t that great at it. You’re not all that gentle yourself but you’re interesting. If you’re on Twitter, send me your Twitter name

      • A short note: this is not the first time that said coworker has firmly planted that foot and it has been overlooked on every other occasion. There comes a point, however, when I can no longer just let things slide. I appreciate everyone’s point of view and those that know me, know that I often turn the other cheek. He has said several things at my expense and I’m not going to be a doormat.

        And hey – my blog is all about perception. 🙂

  13. […] 3.) Read this about office weirdness…

  14. Dear “The Hand”, who has been derangedly spamming this post with the same crap and harassing my friend for two months:

    Yes, women have opinions about how men act and how they express themselves. And they are not always positive! We may even wish to mock them at times! For example, one such behaviour that we may mock is a dude feeling the obsessive need to harass a complete stranger with overly defensive projection for MONTHS ON END, even after his IP was banned! In FACT, I am POINTING and LAUGHING at YOU! RIGHT NOW! HA HA HA! HA! HA!

    Get the fuck over it, you useless jackass.

  15. This may, quite possibly, be my favorite post on wordpress ever.

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